Eurovision 2016 Final Thoughts

Eurovision 2016 FINAL: Thoughts

The Eurovision 2016 grand final has finally dawned upon us. Literally (in Australia, at least). It’s 5am and nothing in the entire universe could ever get me up at 5am except for this beautiful beast of an event that is called the Eurovision Song Contest. Let’s get cracking and see what my Eurovision 2016 Final thoughts will be!

The show is starting off with the final contestants walking down a catwalk. Interesting. If any of these artists find that their music career is going south, at least they have a shot at becoming a model. Ugh, Douwe Bob from The Netherlands and Amir from France are making me go loco.

Let’s get into the songs, shall we?

1. Belgium

Laura Tesoro – What’s The Pressure

Love Laura. She’s such a bundle of joy and I absolutely love the positivity she’s oozing! What a great way to start off the show! Unfortunately I am not ready to get up and dance – it’s still way too early in the morning for me (I really need to move to Europe so I can watch this at an appropriate time).

2. Czech Republic

Gabriela Gunčíková – I Stand

Gabriela is so ethereal, I can’t even. Why are all these contestants so gosh darn beautiful? Love the song – love the melody, there’s something very medieval about it that I just adore. So glad that she’s the first to represent Czech Republic at the finals of Eurovision! Woop woop! History made.

3. The Netherlands

Douwe Bob – Slow Down

I LOOOOOVE DOUWE BOB ermaghurd he has grown so much on me. I love his flirtatious charm. He has won me over. I wish I was in that crowd touching his hands… Probably not a top 5 song but I do hope it gets top 10 at least?

4. Azerbaijan

Samra – Miracle

It’s gonna take a miracle for Azerbaijan to win.

Again, so many beautiful people. Not a huge fan of the song live but I can appreciate the overall performance. Preferred Elnur Huseynov and his song Hour Of The Wolf heaps more last year, though.

5. Hungary

Freddie – Pioneer

Dat voice doe.

I love the massive drum on stage – can’t have Eurovision without one of those drums. Mattias said that his backup singers look like they just kinda came off the street, haha. I love the staging for this. That floor is top notch.

6. Italy

Francesca Michielin – No Degree of Separation

Italy’s postcard is so pretty, I’m getting major nostalgia right now. I think her nerves are showing a little through her voice, but she’s just so adorable I can’t even.

And… she offered us all a little seedling, how precious!

7. Israel

Hovi Star – Made Of Stars

Hovi’s costume is not made of stars, but a bazillion gazillion diamonds, apparently.

Love the sentiment of this song. Don’t really understand the weird spinning people in the background. I wonder what would happen if they suddenly stopped spinning and totes fell over.

8. Bulgaria

Poli Genova – If Love Was A Crime

Love this song – such a catchy dance tune. I also really admire artists that can just get up on stage all alone and totally rock it! Definitely deserves a top 10 position.

9. Sweden

Frans – If I Were Sorry

I think the one thing Frans has got going for him is that it’s evident the crowd is going wild. Though I must admit, he actually came off pretty charming during that performance. It was actually nice and I am pleasantly surprised.

10. Germany

Jamie-Lee – Ghost

I love Jamie-Lee so much, she’s just a little cutie pie and I want to be her friend. This is definitely one of my top 10 songs, I love it. So melancholic, mysterious and m… can’t think of another m word. Bookies say she’ll end up last… if that’s the case then I’ll be truly sad for Jamie-Lee.

11. France

Amir – J’ai Cherché

OMFG I WANT AMIR TO DO SO WELL. His song is the song that connected with me on first listen. I don’t care if he doesn’t have epic staging and that he’s not climbing walls or wearing LED lights on his suit.

This song is like, the theme song of my life.

12. Poland

Michał Szpak – Color Of Your Life

Powerful voice. I like the melody and the message of the song.

13. Australia

Dami Im – Sound Of Silence

SHE ABSOLUTELY KILLED IT! VOTE FOR AUSTRALIA. SO PROUD OF DAMI. I CAN’T EVEN. IF SHE DOESN’T WIN… then it’s obvious Europe hates us, lol. Jokes. I know Sweden will always love us and that’s all I need.

14. Cyprus

Minus One – Alter Ego

Brb. Toilet break.

15. Serbia

Sanja Vučić – Goodbye (Shelter)

I’m still on a high after watching Dami slayyyyyyy. But this is a great, powerful song with an important message. Hope she does well! #GirlPower #StopAbuse.

16. Lithuania

Donny Montell – I’ve Been Waiting For This Night

Can I just say, I don’t mind this song at all – it’s a fun dance-y tune… but all the people that have been calling me a ‘whore’ for not ranking this high enough on my favourites has really tainted Lithuania for me. Sorry.

17. Croatia

Nina Kraljić – Lighthouse

Costume reveal. +2 points for me. I love her voice, but I think she did waaaaay better in the semi finals, unfortunately. Croatia should totally send like a Game of Thrones inspired performance.

18. Russia

Sergey Lazarev – You Are The Only One

I am a fan of synchronised dancing. +2 points. That’s all I’ll say because Russia is clearly the biggest competition for Australia right now.

19. Spain

Barei – Say Yay!

The backup vocalists sound horrible. Other than that, love her, love the music, love that fake falling over stunt.

20. Latvia

Justs – Heartbeat

This song has definitely grown on me more and more. Love Justs’ dancing. Love him in general. What a nice guy.

Little trivia – Latvia is the first country I ever supported in Eurovision back in 2005 with Walter and Khaza and their song The War Is Not Over.

21. Ukraine

Jamala – 1944

This is one of the only songs (aside from Australia) that legit gives me goosebumps in my knees and shivers down my spine. Beautiful song. Wouldn’t mind if she won.

22. Malta

Ira Losco – Walk On Water

Malta. Song by a Swede. I don’t know, I don’t mind this song but it just sounds like a song straight out of Melodifestivalen.

But lmao, the dead guy on the stage at the end. Killed it. Literally.

23. Georgia

Nika Kocharov and Young Georgian Lolitaz – Midnight Gold

This is the “I think I’m on Drugs and I’m having an epileptic fit” song. Are we trippin’ here? I think we’re trippin’ here.

24. Austria

ZOË – Loin d’ici

C’est une belle chanson! J’adore! Et j’adore Zoë aussi. This is such an underrated song. I love her bright smile and her sweet demeanour. I hope this does well.

25. United Kingdom

Joe and Jake – You’re Not Alone

The more likeable version of Jedward. Love them, the UK actually sent a decent song for once! I hope they do better than they usually do.

26. Armenia

Iveta Mukuchyan – LoveWave

Ending it with a BANG! Love this song, hope it gets top 5, though she did better in the semi finals. Huge props to the camera crew and production team, this is legit a good quality performance.

And just like that, 26 acts have performed… it happens oh-so-fast doesn’t it? The clear winners for me personally are Australia, The Netherlands, France, Russia, Latvia, Ukraine and Armenia. Actually, I think they all did a phenomenal job and I hope they enjoyed it, regardless of who wins.

  • I’ve just sent one vote to The Netherlands and 2 votes to France. Good luck!!!!
  • And now… it’s time to get some Justin Timberlake into our lives. Justin Timberlake is pretty suave, huh? Still seems super out of place to me on the Eurovision stage, but hey, why not. Most of his songs were produced by Swedes anyway.
  • Lmao I love this little steps to Eurovision songs. Really encapsulates what I love about Eurovision! THIS IS WHAT EUROVISION IS ABOUT PEOPLE!!! Who cares about the politics and shit?
  • Omg. Alexander Rybak. I have actually died. He is the highlight of my Eurovision experience thus far.
  • GUYS. HAMSTER WHEELS, OLD GRANNIES, PIANOS ON FIRE, ALEXANDER RYBAK… THIS IS WHAT I LOVE SO MUCH ABOUT EUROVISION. LOVE LOVE PEACE PEACE.

Ok. Time for voting. The most anticipated and exciting part of Eurovision. Let’s go.

  • Australia getting the first 12 points of the night… always an ominous sign… Looks like we’re getting a lot of 8’s, 10’s and 12’s! Thank you Netherlands, thanks Switzerland!
  • OMFG it’s getting so intense, Australia actually has a chance to win? What?! My poor France though!

LMFAO is this not the best tweet from Eurovision?

  • THAT HAMSTER WHEEL, way to lighten the mood guys.
  • Okay, so Australia has won the jury vote. Russia seems to have underperformed strangely enough? A lot of juries didn’t give them any points at all… let’s get into the televotes!
  • FERFESFKMSLD INTENSITY. SO INTENSE. WHAT IS THIS VOTING SYSTEM. I DON’T LIKE IT. POOR CZECH REPUBLIC. AHHHHHHHH. HOW MANY POINTS ARE LEFT? WHY ARE THEY DOING IT LIKE THISSSSSS.
  • Oh. Ok. Australia can’t win. Sigh. Well, that was a huge let down, I got my hopes way too high lel.
  • Is this not what we have been waiting for… Russia vs Ukraine… and 3, 2, 1…. OH, UKRAINE HAS IT! RUSSIA WON THE TELEVOTES BUT NOT ENOUGH TO TOPPLE OVER UKRAINE!!!

Immediate thoughts: Kind of disappointed that Australia didn’t win, even though I came in thinking we had no chance. Damn. What a huge let down, but congratulations to Ukraine nevertheless. Well deserved – Jamala didn’t send shivers to my kneecaps for nothing!

And France came in 6th, which is the highest they’ve placed since 2002, apparently. Well done Amir. Wish he was 4th or 5th though.

Ok that about wraps it up. I’m definitely going to have a snooze and then do a little video after. Thanks for all the good times. Eurovision sure can bring a smile to my face when I’m feeling down and that’s all that matters to me. And Alexander Rybak, of course.

See you in Ukraine next year!

Watch My Eurovision 2016 After Thoughts